Hey Reader,
It’s Sunday afternoon and I got a table, sat myself down and started working on the next YouTube video. This one’s going to be great, I thought, with all the new image models and AI video tools, the cost of creating great videos has come down dramatically.
This, until two young guys sat next to me and pulled out their apparently highest-spec MacBook Pros.
“Oh that guy, they’ve been working on AI safety.”
“Yeah, I heard each founder got 30 million in equity.”
One guy mentioned he studied at Columbia. It seems like they either work in VC or are Y Combinator-adjacent founders. Young. Unapologetically switched on across all news (so they look like, at least).
I was sitting at the corner seat, next to the wall. Almost felt like there was nowhere to escape.
And that’s probably why when my friend messaged me on IG
“How you doing Lydia?”
I typed “Not good” almost too quick.
Growing up, I was never the type who loved holidays and vacations. I knew deep down I was never the smartest in the room I was in (which, I learned later in life, is a blessing). And more importantly, I was afraid that if I stopped working, if I didn’t do another geometry mock exam during summer holiday, I wouldn’t be able to catch up with the other kids. I was afraid things would turn out bad.
It hasn’t changed since I started working. It hasn’t changed since I started working on my own. If anything, now I have no reason to stop at all.
But these days feel different. Days are getting longer, 15-degree afternoons, “it’s a nice summer evening out there,” the young and energetic instructor at SoulCycle proclaimed last week at the end of the class and apparently it’s also her 30th birthday. “Go enjoy!”
Even though I’m following the to-do list. Even though I want to somehow 2x my already-fast typing speed so I can start more chats with ChatGPT, Claude, Lovable. Even though I want to learn how to deploy OpenClaw, master SeeDance 2.0 for my podcast, reach out to guests, reach out to sponsors, talk to a friend—a real person—after a day full of networking events.
For the first time ever, I’m not looking forward to summer that much.
Because the arrival of summer means less time to prepare the event I’m hosting for London Climate Action Week. What if people don’t reply. What if there’s no sponsor. What if, after all, I don’t know what I’m talking about.
So I said to that friend, “not good.” And to another, “not feeling motivated.”
It’s not a constant up-and-down mood swing.
It’s more of a cold little reality-check feeling on a bright Sunday afternoon.
Which somehow makes it worse.
I just trained Claude to learn my writing style, so it can generate a complete story from the random raw thoughts I have. It’s not quite there yet, and I had no mood to edit or publish anything on that front. The draft has been sitting in my drafts folder for two days. (about 825 words, ready to publish when you are ready, says Claude)
And as I thought I wouldn’t write anything tonight, here they all are. These days I cry for no reason.
A birthday celebration for the SoulCycle instructor’s 30th.
A Sunday evening writing out my feelings.
Sometimes just listening to ChatGPT reflect my thoughts back to me. Sometimes just a message from a friend.
I thought, I want to be positive in newsletters with a name of Sunday Not Blue. I opened an upbeat playlist on Spotify and started writing.
But here I am. No, I’m not upbeat. It’s not a Sunday Not Blue day.
But I want to send you a short greeting and a long story.
Because if you feel the same way, that’s okay.
Gift for Your Pocket
Between 12 and 3pm, don’t ask: “Is my life working?”
Ask instead:
What moved?
What mattered?
What can wait?
Drink water. Step outside if you can. Eat something warm. Let the big question wait until your body has caught up.
P.S. I made a quick Sunday Compass video this week. If your head has been loud too, this one is better watched slowly, with tea, sun, and whichever AI tool you like using. It’s about using Claude to help you review your week.
Claude Read My Emails. Then It Said Something ChatGPT Never Has.
Get the Sunday Compass step-by-step prompt pack here. Secret link for you.
P.P.S. Bite-Size Climate Tech Season 5 is still gathering its community producers, quiet support that keeps the show going. If that’s something you’d like to be part of, the door is open.
https://www.dayzeroproduction.com/bite-size-climate-tech/support
From one real-blue Sunday,
Lydia
